So let’s attack this from both sides and get to the bottom of what men and women say versus what they really mean.
What women mean: Men, I realize that hearing your woman say she is “fine” makes you think she probably is fine because if you were saying the same, you’d mean exactly what you were saying. But, in woman speak, more often than not this usually isn’t the case.
The key here to find out if that “I’m fine” is legit is the follow-up question. If you want to get it right, make sure you ask if she is sure and if there is hesitation in her response to you let her know if and when she is ready to get something off her chest, you are there to listen and support. By doing so, you will get major brownie points on this one.
What men mean: It’s pretty simple for a guy. If he is saying he is fine, he probably does, in fact, mean he’s fine. If there is something else to it, he will likely express it directly to you.
What women mean: According to insight from my male relationship experts, this is the dreaded six-word sentence most guys don’t want to hear. They immediately think they are in trouble and it puts them on the defense fairly quickly. But guys, there is a way to calm that pitter patter that you feel in your heart when you hear these words.
I think most men know that when a woman prompts a discussion with the “I need to talk to you,” it is probably about something that’s been heavy on her mind. And if you have this realization, consider yourself to be smarter than most. A woman dedicating time to speak to you about matters of her heart has thought this topic through ad nausea and wanted to have some closure on the subject of discussion.
Be prepared, not scared, and come to listen. In other words, go into the discussion with an open mind and with the goal to qualm her fears and make your woman feel secure knowing she can count on you to have serious discussions. It will help your relationship grow if you learn to understand her needs and also keep the lines of communication open in your relationship.
What men mean: If your guy wants to have a conversation with you and uses this sentence, he is using it as a way to generally get your input on something that is bothering him. If he values your input, he will share with you what is on his plate figuratively speaking, and how he is trying to solve the issue.
If he is coming to you to get your input or perspective, bonus points for you because he trusts your insights and these matters which are big to him he is sharing because he trusts and values your opinion.
What women mean: It’s a nice way of letting you know your SO is looking for something deeper in your relationship. And your answer will lead her in one of possibly two directions.
If she is interested in you and prompts this discussion, she wants to know if you are serious about her or if she is wasting her time. If she is looking for something serious in a relationship and your answer is nebulous, unclear, or fuzzy, then she will probably be moving on as in pursuing other options which will lead to the commitment she is seeking.
Be honest even if you think it will hurt her because if there is one thing a woman respects, it is honesty.
What men mean: Men probably won’t say this as directly but show it more through their actions. There are subtle tests he will throw your way to check your level of interest in him and how you fit into his life. He will make himself available to you so you feel comfortable knowing that his interest is real.
He may become a little insecure when you are heading out for the night for friends because he wants to be a part of what you are doing. He may ask you in subtle ways how you feel about him. And he will invest quality time in you outside of the bedroom with more face-to-face time doing activities, figuring out your interests, and getting to know you. This continual time and investment of his time in you is his way of signaling to you that he is interested in you for the longer term and letting you know that he sees a future with you.