Thursday 6th of August 2020

Nairobi, Kenya

Common Phrases Used In Relationships And What They Mean

Posted On : May 3, 2019

Ann Mumbi


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“Do whatever you want.”

What women mean: I know you think your SO is giving you the go ahead. But here is the caveat behind her words to you and how you can know if it is indeed ok to go ahead and do what you want to do. If your SO has continuously and repeatedly told you there is a behavior you’re demonstrating or activity you are engaging in which makes them uncomfortable, but you continue to do it because you just want to or it makes you feel good even when it does the opposite for your SO, beware when you get this message.

It can mean one of two things:

  • It is a test of your loyalty to her and your relationship.
  • She no longer cares about it — which, for a woman who has feelings for you, isn’t typically a good thing.

It means she is compartmentalizing your relationship, the status it has in her life, and also could be a sign that she is moving towards eventually ending things with you. No one should be overly controlling in a relationship, but if your existing relationships or activities endanger or put a strain on your relationship, you have to determine what is most important for you to prioritize. And this, of course, applies to both parties.

What men mean: Again, men are more direct on this one. Usually, their “do whatever you want” will have something added to it such as, “and if you do I will _____.” And what this means in man speak is think clearly before you move forward because it will impact our relationship and how I move forward with you.

Tread lightly and figure out what is driving his position on an action you want to take. Talking it through together will give you insight into how he sees the situation, possibly calm fears that may be unnecessary, and put you both on the same page.

Dead silence.

What women mean: Ever had an argument where you thought you shut down your SO and they went into a mode of dead silence? It’s not a good sign. When a woman goes silent, it is her way of getting to her man. Yes, we women can be chatty, sometimes to the point where you might be like, “okay, I need a little quiet time.” But on the heels of a heated discussion or argument, when a woman suddenly becomes extremely quiet following a disagreement, she is ticked off at you and you haven’t really resolved or won that argument.

Silence means she is more than likely fuming and also a way to punish you. If you are wrong, the best way to make this situation better is to admit it and apologize. And I get it, apologizing can be difficult for a man. I know you have this pride thing going on too. But I promise you, by taking this little step for mankind, you will get you some extra points when you do your next stupid thing. She will be more forgiving because she will see you are willing to right the wrong, admit when you are wrong, and compromise.

What men mean: I need some quiet time. I’m trying to figure out some things and I need some silence to do so.

It can also signal irritation, frustration, and trying to not overreact especially if the two of you are in the midst of an argument or a disagreement. He might need this time to reset, calm down, and process what you two are discussing. Give him the downtime before proceeding forward with your discussion. It will give him time to digest what you have communicated to him and help him to be open to your recommendation and proposed resolution.

Ann Mumbi

An expert in style and image, Fashion Addict focuses on brands worn by showbiz stars who have large numbers of fans worldwide Member Of #NairobiFashionHub Team