What women mean: You’ve approached a woman you are very interested in dating. And she shuts you down with, “I have a boyfriend.”
If she says this and you find out it’s not true, it’s because she was trying to let you off easily. She doesn’t think you are her type. If you keep pursuing her, you are not getting the message. She isn’t attracted to you in that way. One small exception here is that sometimes some guys just know how to work it and will see this response as a challenge to pursue hard. And if things move forward, you have successfully changed her thinking.
But, if she continues to tell you message repeatedly, she might, in fact, have a boyfriend. Or if she doesn’t, the best bet is she just isn’t that into you. She is not feeling you that way. Move on to the next one and save yourself the grief of this one-sided pursuit of a relationship.
What men mean: It really depends on the situation. When a man is serious about someone he is seeing, he will clearly communicate this to you and show it by his actions. It is pretty black and white and he will not give you an inkling of interest. However, if he is dating and he is on the fence and openly flirting and entertaining the idea of getting with you, then more than likely he is passing time in his current relationship(s). His relationship isn’t probably too serious and he is keeping his options open.
How you respond to this one is on you because it just depends on how you want to establish the relationship with him. If he has a long-term relationship with a woman but isn’t respecting her enough to let her know he is interested in other women, then it’s likely he will do the same to you. Tread lightly, move slowly, and set your standards of how you want to be treated early on if you move forward with this relationship.
What women mean: I know you don’t want to hear this, but women know if they will be intimate with a man and can figure this out within a short time period. We often quickly assess what category you will fit into within our lives. These categories often encompass a friend, potential for the future, someone for casual dating, or possibly long-term relationship material.
Yes, you are in the friend zone, and I know this can suck. And I don’t care what you do, how much time you spend with her, or how much emotional support you provide. If she feels you are for her, she will let you know by her actions, interactions, and priority you have in her life.
Now there can be exceptions to the rule where a man is so persuasive and endearing that he gets a woman to change her mind. But these exceptions tend to be rare. If she is telling you she loves your friendship, that’s it. She merely likes you as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t overthink this one.
What men mean: Men tend to show their cards early on even in a friendship. I do think it’s possible to be friends with a man and vice-versa, but understand some initial development of a friendship can be done with an intent to get to know you better.
Here is how you know the difference with a man wanting friendship with you versus something more. If he keeps it friendly i.e. small talk, advice about business, family, etc. likely he is interested in you as a friend.
However, if the talk goes to the gray areas i.e. talk about sexual intimacy, jokes about the two of you connecting physically, him getting a little jealous and judgmental when you discuss other men or those you are interested in dating, it can mean something different. Friends want to see their friends happy and they are there to be supportive of them being in relationships which add to their happiness. If you are getting feedback opposite of this or he tries to sabotage you being with someone in which you have a love interest, then something else is on his agenda.
Knowing how a woman expresses who she is and what she needs emotionally is half the battle. Understanding a man’s perspective and how he expresses himself can shape your relationship in an entirely different way.
Now that you are armed with the knowledge of what women and men say but really mean, it will help you to solidify and strengthen your relationship with your SO or help you in your pursuit of the one who can potentially be your SO
Content courtesy of Elizabeth Overstreet & Nairobi fashion hub Relationship Team