Friday 24th of May 2024

Nairobi, Kenya

How Mindfulness Can Help You Control Your Orgasms And Make Them Last Longer

Masturbation can be a route to achieving mindfulness. With sex having been banned for much of the last year, the chances are that masturbation is happening more frequently among those that are single or living away from their partner. In the 2020 global self-pleasure report by Tenga, it was found that 80% of Brits masturbate as a form of self-care, while 78% say self-pleasure improves their state of mind.

This is up from 2019, suggesting the pandemic has slightly shifted our needs from masturbation rather than just be about getting off, it’s about actually feeling good. Edging is one way to masturbate that encourages a more mindful approach.

The focus isn’t on reaching a climax quickly which can be off-putting in itself – rather, the focus is to delay orgasm and enjoy an extended period of arousal. It can be a great way for someone to get to know their body better and what turns them on. A spokesperson for the sex toy brand Pulse and Cocktails says: ‘Being mindful when having some alone time is a great way to be present at the moment and to really get to know your body and get in touch with what really turns you on.

‘Self-care is extremely important, and self-pleasure is a fantastic way to blow off steam and forget about any stress or worries. ‘Plus, it has some health benefits too, including improving sleep, releases feel-good hormones, increasing productivity, reducing period pain, and even increasing your libido.’ If you’re new to edging and are unsure of what to do, these are some top tips to make the process a little easier if extended masturbation feels strange at first.

Drop the pressure to orgasm Instead of fixating on having a ground-shaking orgasm, try to spend as much time as possible getting to know your body and what you really respond to. Build yourself up to come, stop, and then rest before starting again. Be romantic for yourself Taking the time to focus on yourself is important for your mind, body, and soul. Instead of having a quickie whenever you get the chance, block out a specific time in your diary for some alone time, and put some effort into your surroundings.

De-clutter anything causing negative energy around you, and perhaps also light some candles or put some music on to get you in the mood. Give porn a miss this time When it comes to being mindful, you want to learn what you truly respond to you rather than just defaulting to porn. Your mind is a powerful tool. Use it to fantasize, think about how to get yourself going, and what truly turns you on. If you aren’t used to doing it this way, that’s okay allow yourself time to feel comfortable and let your mind wander.

Content courtesy of Metro 

A List Of Sexual Health Resources Worth Checking Out

Disclaimer: Sex Guru is not a sex therapist or a sexologist. Please seek professional help, if needed.


We’ve put together a list of sexual health resources worth checking out.


It’s natural to be curious about sex because we’re all having it or thinking about it. However, finding information about it isn’t always easy. 


The Spread

Karen Lucas has a FB page called The Spread Podcast plus a YouTube page, where she talks about differently sexuality matters and answers questions from Kenyans.  Additionally, there’s also a festival where they discuss topics like sex and disabilities, or religion and bedroom matters plus other healthy, sexual conversations worth following.


Shan Boody

A sexologist that explores all topics that you’ve ever wondered about but no-one has ever had the courage to ask. She covers topics like fingering, oral sex and how to be sexy on a date. Of course, she also interacts with other people about sexual matters so that her content has diverse perspectives.


Sexual Essentials

Samia is a sexual educator that runs an interactive page on Instagram. It’ll also include videos that are guaranteed to improve your sexual life plus new positions that you can try out with your partners. She also includes masterclasses in her content.


Sexology International

Sexology International is a site that focuses on different elements of sexuality through articles from different sexology experts. They’re all about helping out people on a sensual journey to get the most out of relationships, sex and life. It’s all about promoting a sex-positive lifestyle that encourages healthy pleasure and experimentation.


Sex Positive Families

Sex Positive Families makes it easier for families to have awkward sexual conversations that include topics like sex, consent, puberty and relationships. It also includes resources that make it easier for parents and guardians to make sure that their kids are well-informed so that they can make better sexual decisions especially since the media has a lot of hypersexualisation.


Kama Sutra

Kama Sutra is an ancient, Indian text that deals with sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfilment.  It’s best known for unusual sexual positions and most publications with a sex category usually get inspiration from it. So you can either Google different Kama Sutra positions or you can buy a book, that you can always use for having fun and experimenting with your partner.


Tag NFH if you have any sexual resources that you feel, should be added to this list.