Friday 14th of June 2024

Nairobi, Kenya

A Slay Queens’ Guide To Starting Over

It is the only way to live life and, makes it harder for enemies to predict your moves because you remain in motion. 


People love saying that you should not burn bridges because you might have to cross them later. Well, they lied. A slay queen will always have time to build new bridges no matter how many houses get scorched as she ascends into power. No-one is born to be as fabulous as you. So stay like an ever-burning flame. 

So it is a new year and, it’s time to get rid of what no longer works, clothes, friends and family members. It’s time to usher in 2021 like you mean business and claim it all for yourself. However, you can’t quit your job because HR asked you to tone down your fashion sense. They just don’t understand that Rihanna is your ultimate fashion muse. I mean flawless makeup isn’t cheap. Also, who wants to move out of Kitisuru mid-month? It’s hurting my pores just thinking about it.


So with starting over. Start with your fashion sense. Every year, some items go out of fashion. So they need to be destroyed because you can never afford to be a fashion victim. Burn them, throw them or donate them. However, always remember that some pieces are classics and will always work. If you’re having an issue separating the wheat from the chaff. You can always hire a personal fashion stylist but make them sign a non-disclosure agreement. Nobody needs to know that you’re secretly a B yet you floss that you’re a full C-cup in all your IG posts.


Speaking of IG, detox all your social media handles. If it doesn’t make sense anymore then either archive it or delete. Never forget that people are itching to cancel things and being in a cancel hashtag is never a good thing especially if you’re still on the market.


Realise that some friendships outgrow each other and others, just die with time. It is only natural. So review your friendships, one by one as you vet out, who still falls in the slayers’ code of ethics. Never toss out the frenemies though because you never know when you might to have to step on one to get a fancy invite to a social event.


If your partner is finding it hard to keep up with the times. It might be time to cut them loose and start all over again. You might end up dating way too many frogs, but your wardrobe will love the upgrade. Besides. you can never have too many handbags, stilettos or jewellery.


However, sometimes, things do not always go well. 


With family, it might be trickier to toss them aside since they are your flesh and blood. Lol. I’m just joking. Start over with whomever you want because you only have one life. Feel free to delete, subtract or multiply depending on your mood. Plus, when, it’s time for you to go six feet under, you’ll make the journey alone. So you can only trust yourself.


Forget people that tell you that starting over is the hardest part. They don’t understand that before beautiful butterflies emerge from the cocoon they begin as caterpillars. So your life is always in a state of change and no-one has earned a permanent spot.


Slay Queen Getting Married

The big day is around the corner. 

Haters never believed that this day would come but you always knew. Other upcoming slayers tried stealing him from you but you know how to play the game better. 

It’s time to claim your territory.

I mean you gave his female besties old invitations with the wrong venue. An honest mistake that could have happened to anyone.

However, you’d chosen Safari Park Hotel earlier before you decided that Marula Manor felt more exclusive and like old money. They dropped veiled comments about how he almost chose them but he saw the light when he met you. Frankly, you don’t care since it’s all water under the bridge. 

First of all, a wedding planner is a necessity. I mean why risk having bald hair days, broken nails & possibly an acne breakout. Stay away from the idea that the close family members & friends will create an executive committee to oversee it all.

Of course, your frenemies can’t receive texts expecting them to chip in 5k towards your wedding. I know they can afford it but can you. So hold your head high.

I can’t stand the idea of a wobbly strawberry jelly as a dessert. Or a dense and sugary wedding cake usually found on a shelf instead of light, airy & melting in your mouth with a hint of citrus. Also, let’s not talk about horrendous colour schemes like orange, green & pink. Slay queens don’t hand out fashion heart attacks like that.  

I need to pick my dress and without my mother-in-law dictating anything. Indeed, I mean she already had her moment so now it’s my turn. So two options a) buy it or b) or get it custom-made.

Depending on the time you have, this will help you decide between both. Getting one made is an amazing idea. It’ll be unique and a favourite. With a designer that loves taking risks then they’ll embrace a low-lying back or high thigh slit at the front. Alternatively, you can visit high-end shops, here or abroad.

Only choose photogenic bridesmaids that’ll help boost your aesthetics and social media presence. I know it sounds harsh but pictures turn into memories, instantly. Hire a kick-ass make-up artist to make sure that everyone is on point. Give classy wigs to ladies that are failing in the natural hair movement or have awkward hairstyles.

Give him minimal duties. Let’s’ be honest wedding days are usually about the women.  

Don’t invite exes to the wedding. It doesn’t matter if they dated decades ago. It’ll minimize the risk of drama. You never know when someone might decide to drink themselves silly & make a scene because your fiance promised to love her forever and ever, at some point. 

Ignore your future mother-in-law if she’s giving you a hard time & stick to your guns. Grow a tough skin and do what needs to be done. It’s not easy standing for your what you believe in.

If anyone brings up anything to do with a prenuptial agreement. Kill that vibe. You came to see and conquer.

Don’t forget to approve anything before it’s posted online. I mean, you have a brand to protect.