Friday 14th of June 2024

Nairobi, Kenya

A Slay Queen’s Guide To Buying A House

A slay queen’s guide to buying a house is a must-have for any true slay queen.  It’s time to move on up and enjoy the sunlight while you lounge on the balcony. It’s a great way to start over.

You’ve been working hard and slaying even harder so now it’s your time to shine in the sun. You need a house that reflects your lifestyle and needs. There’s no more jumping over potholes whenever it pours or keeping your white pieces aside because you live in a dust bowl. Here are a few tips to help you out:




Pay attention to the spatial aspects of the house. It’ll be hard to floss to others about how you’re moving up in life, yet you live in a colour-conflicted shoebox. You can’t have the sort of place where you’re bumping into the walls, yet you’ve barely opened the door. It means that you can’t entertain crowds with elevated taste levels since they might doubt you. A one-bedroomed house is a bit too cosy for your fashion needs unless it lets you live in the right neighbourhood.

If you get a two-bedroom house, then you’ll have a dedicated fashion room. Play your cards right, and it’ll be a backdrop for vlogging and fashion photography. All it needs are two full-length mirrors in this room, so you don’t have to keep twisting your body whenever you want a 360 view of your outfit. A vintage seat surrounded by ring lights next to your makeup box whenever you feel like getting your makeup done. It might take a day or two but isn’t that what boyfriends are for because you just had your nails done.



If the exterior is beautiful, then the interior can’t be that far off. Don’t visit places with ugly pictures online.

Step inside the place and imagine what you’d feel like every time you’d open your eyes in the morning. Will it feel like waking up to a soft dream or an ugly nightmare. The owner decided that they never needed an interior designer. Then, you might be a fountain of fashion insight, but you aren’t a miracle worker. Some places need to be demolished and re-done by someone with an aesthetic eye.

If it’s a furnished apartment, make sure that it’s tasteful and matches your colour palette.



Being beautiful is a full 24/7/365 hustle, especially for your Instagram followers. Every slayer understands that finding the perfect natural light for selfies makes the difference between a look that others would kill for or a look that kills people.

Look for places with windows that make sense and let in as much natural light as possible. It creates an airy feel that can’t be faked and works well with high ceilings. It’ll feel divine basking in the sun, drinking tea and watching your neighbours chase their minions around the estate. Once in a while, you can enjoy the simple things in life especially when you don’t have the funds for Hulu and Netflix?



Take a stroll in the neighbourhood and see if the air feels right to you.

Nobody wants to feel like they’re in a concrete jungle. They want to walk, jog and run in their designer athleisure. It needs to be pet-friendly, especially if you think that you might be a dog person. With upscale areas, you always need to stay alert. You might strike gold any minute. So try out different routes and get to know the place. Success is a guarantee when opportunity meets preparation. So stock on that waterproof makeup and long-lasting lip colours.



It doesn’t matter if your dream car only takes space on your screensaver on your iPhone. I mean, didn’t all dreams start from somewhere. Stay ready in case your luck changes for the better. So, a parking space is a must-have item. Nobody has time to run up and down in red-bottoms sweet-talking neighbours into lending them car space whenever their friends come for a bash. I mean, who’ll replace your heels if you wear them out like this.



Choose a house wisely, so you never have to deal with inconsistent amenities. You never have to leave your taps open because you don’t know when water will decide to make an appearance since she’s like a diva. Imagine if water flooded your fashion room and decided your kiss your designer suede handbags and cashmere clothes. Dry cleaning exists, and it works, but what if those water stains never come out. Candlelit dinners will be optional and not a necessity because KPLC won’t tease and taunt you at odd hours.

Exclude areas without in-house gyms because you can’t afford to outgrow your clothes. Trust me you want to sweat in the privacy of an in-house gym, then you can glisten on your outdoor husband-hunting walks. All your designer clothes are snug fit and show off all your curves. If there’s a swimming pool, then that’s even better. It’s the best environment to blur the line between predator and prey. It’s the best time to test out your waterproof makeup. Let people see the real you after you’ve had your fun in the sun.



Live in an area that’s easy to find. Nobody has the time to count three trees before making a left, looking for a red duka and other nondescript features whenever they’re trying to locate your place. So, one way of fixing this is by looking at houses near fancy malls like Lavington Curve. It also means that you can always rush in whenever your food supplies are running low. Or you can get a takeaway and treat yourself. Just like Shawshank Redemption, either get busy living or, you get busy dying in this life