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Sunday 14th of August 2022

Nairobi, Kenya

Survey Of Female Sexual Pleasure Reveals What Women Really Want

What do women want? You’re going to have to ask them. That’s the conclusion of the largest study to analyze the diversity of female sexual pleasure, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. The researchers aim to break down the ways in which women find pleasure, giving couples insight into how to boost their love life.

Debby Herbenick at Indiana University and her colleagues discovered that women’s preferences in the bedroom vary dramatically, but there are a few things that most tend to enjoy. A word of warning: this is going to get graphic.

The study asked 1,055 heterosexual women in the U.S. to answer a questionnaire that covered everything from sexual attitudes down to their preferred pattern of genital stimulation. The participants ranged from 18 to 94 years old.

Their answers were revealing: More than 36% of women reported needing clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, while less than a fifth reported that intercourse alone was sufficient. An additional 36% said that clitoral stimulation wasn’t necessary, but made for a better orgasm.

The majority of women said that some orgasms feel better than others, whereas 10.8% reckoned they all feel the same.

When asked about their ideal techniques, two-thirds preferred direct clitoral stimulation. Of those that preferred indirect stimulation, the majority preferred touching “through the skin above the hood,” while a smaller number preferred touching “through both lips pushed together (like a sandwich).” Fewer than 10% of women enjoyed stimulation to their mons pubis the squishy area of tissue above the pubic bone. Around 5% preferred it when their partner avoided the clitoris altogether.

When the women were asked about what pattern of stimulation they enjoyed, most indicated that a repeated rhythmic motion was ideal. The least preferred pattern involved a partner putting extreme emphasis on one part of the motion, for instance, more pressure on the left side of the genitals.

That said, the results suggest that it’s hard to go wrong in this department 13 out of the 15 different patterns of stimulation given as options were endorsed by the majority of respondents.

Something else most women agreed on: light to medium pressure on the genitals is best. Only 1 in 10 said they preferred firm pressure during stimulation.

The results show unsurprisingly that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to getting hot under the covers. The women in the study showed a wide variety of preferences as a group, yet on an individual level tended to endorse a narrow range of techniques that they specifically enjoyed. Which all just underscores the value of talking about sex with your partner.

There are a few things that will get you by in the meantime. More than half the women in the study said that spending time to build arousal, having a partner who knows what they like and emotional intimacy contributed to better orgasms. And one last thing: stamina is less important than you might think. Less than one in five women indicated that “sex that lasts a long time” made orgasms feel better.

I’ll be investigating other aspects of your love life in future posts. I’ll be finding out whether the G-spot actually exists, uncovering the science of female ejaculation, discovering why orgasms are good for the brain and how soon we’ll be getting our hands on a male contraceptive pill.

Content courtesy of Forbes

The Underrated Sex Technique Every Couple Needs To Try

Mutual masturbation is when you pleasure yourself as your partner watches or when you both masturbate together. It can be one of the most intimate and exciting types of sex you’ll ever have. But mutual masturbation is seriously underrated. It’s hardly talked about and often dismissed as awkward or uncomfortable.

That makes sense in a way mutual masturbation sees both parties in a super personal, vulnerable state. Are you really ready for that? Andrea Balboni, Certified Love, Sex & Relationship Therapist at Zoe Clews & Associates, says that mutual masturbation is well worth a try.

As you explore this new territory of mutual satisfaction, there’s a chance to learn about what you like best together and separately. She tells  ‘Because many of us have learned to masturbate on our own in private, it can feel incredibly thrilling to be witnessed and at the same time frightening as it feels supremely naughty. ‘Mutual masturbation allows you to free your inner voyeur and exhibitionist as you put on display and watch what most people will never see. ‘It feels exclusive and risky and, did I mention, naughty?

‘Full acceptance by your partner for what you’re sharing can help clear inhibitions and shame, a pleasure killer for many people.

You’ve cleaned the runway for a takeoff into orgasmic bliss.’ It’s not all about the dirty stuff. Andrea notes that mutual masturbation can help to build intimacy – and may even be the most intimate thing you can do with your partner. It can also act as a language when talking about sex is difficult. We do not mind readers, and unless there is communication, how are we to know what our partner truly loves?

‘Mutual masturbation allows for a new form of communication to emerge’, continues Andrea, ‘one full of sound as you allow to emerge any moans or sighs that want to come out naturally. ‘You let your body communicate through movement, where you like to be touched and how. Your partner can watch and learn what pressure works for you and the speed you like to go at. Not to mention the time it takes you to get fully aroused.

‘You can tell your partner how good it feels, what you like, how hot it is, how turned on you are, and when you’re about to climax. ‘And you can change things up by telling them what you want them to do to themselves.’ As your partner learns about you and your pleasure, you may even both find yourselves feeling more confident.

Mutual masturbation can lead you to be a pro in the bedroom when it comes to both your and your partner’s needs and confidence is sexy, right? Andrea adds: ‘Contrary to popular belief, no one can “give” you an orgasm.

Your pleasure is yours and you experience it within your body. ‘So while a partner can support you in realizing your pleasure potential, it’s up to you to create the right conditions for you to allow your orgasmic bliss to blossom like a wild jungle flower within you. ‘And as mutual masturbation removes performance anxiety  a passion killer like no other there is much more space for pleasure to emerge.’ So, now that we’ve explained why mutual, consensual masturbation is a great way to make your sex life stronger, let’s talk about how to get involved.

Content courtesy of Metro 

 

How Mindfulness Can Help You Control Your Orgasms And Make Them Last Longer

Masturbation can be a route to achieving mindfulness. With sex having been banned for much of the last year, the chances are that masturbation is happening more frequently among those that are single or living away from their partner. In the 2020 global self-pleasure report by Tenga, it was found that 80% of Brits masturbate as a form of self-care, while 78% say self-pleasure improves their state of mind.

This is up from 2019, suggesting the pandemic has slightly shifted our needs from masturbation rather than just be about getting off, it’s about actually feeling good. Edging is one way to masturbate that encourages a more mindful approach.

The focus isn’t on reaching a climax quickly which can be off-putting in itself – rather, the focus is to delay orgasm and enjoy an extended period of arousal. It can be a great way for someone to get to know their body better and what turns them on. A spokesperson for the sex toy brand Pulse and Cocktails says: ‘Being mindful when having some alone time is a great way to be present at the moment and to really get to know your body and get in touch with what really turns you on.

‘Self-care is extremely important, and self-pleasure is a fantastic way to blow off steam and forget about any stress or worries. ‘Plus, it has some health benefits too, including improving sleep, releases feel-good hormones, increasing productivity, reducing period pain, and even increasing your libido.’ If you’re new to edging and are unsure of what to do, these are some top tips to make the process a little easier if extended masturbation feels strange at first.

Drop the pressure to orgasm Instead of fixating on having a ground-shaking orgasm, try to spend as much time as possible getting to know your body and what you really respond to. Build yourself up to come, stop, and then rest before starting again. Be romantic for yourself Taking the time to focus on yourself is important for your mind, body, and soul. Instead of having a quickie whenever you get the chance, block out a specific time in your diary for some alone time, and put some effort into your surroundings.

De-clutter anything causing negative energy around you, and perhaps also light some candles or put some music on to get you in the mood. Give porn a miss this time When it comes to being mindful, you want to learn what you truly respond to you rather than just defaulting to porn. Your mind is a powerful tool. Use it to fantasize, think about how to get yourself going, and what truly turns you on. If you aren’t used to doing it this way, that’s okay allow yourself time to feel comfortable and let your mind wander.

Content courtesy of Metro 

How To Look After Your Vagina

A Vagina is a flower that goes by other names that include honeypot, punani, yoni, vulva, cunt, cookie, peach and et cetera.

The vagina is an internal organ that connects the uterus to the outside world. It has two main functions: a pleasure receptor during sex or for delivering babies through natural childbirth. However, when a woman is menstruating, then she bleeds through her vagina till her cycle is over.

So how does one look after their vagina?

The vagina is a self-cleaning organ through vaginal discharge, and, it has a PH level.

 

Healthy Diet

Looking after it starts with eating a healthy diet, filled with fruits, vegetables, water and physical exercise. Exercises include walking,  running and, kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor.

 

Gentle Soap

Use gentle soaps that don’t have any scents to clean around your vagina. Always clean this area whenever you’re showering to keep it clean. During your periods, you might need to wash this area more than once a day. 

 

No Vaginal Douching

The vagina hosts healthy bacteria that are there to protect it. They balance out the vagina’s PH level, to keep the bacteria healthy and dominant than harmful bacteria that might enter the vagina. However, vaginal douche disturbs the PH level and affects the protection offered by the good bacteria in the vagina.

 

Pubic Hair

You don’t have to remove all of your pubic hair since it protects your vagina from extra bacteria. It also acts as a barrier between your skin and your underwear which is helpful, especially during hot and humid weather. You also don’t have to worry about that area becoming itchy.

 

Safe Sex

Practice safe sex and use a condom every time.

 

PAP Smears

Do pelvic exams, PAP Smears and consult your gynaecologist regularly. Get the HPV vaccine, if possible.

 

Use Lubrication

If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness,  use lubrication with your partner to protect your vagina from pain and, tearing during sex. 

 

Cotton Underwear

Wear cotton underwear because your body will breathe easily and absorb any extra moisture. Alternatively, you can go commando and let your vagina breathe.

 

Non-Scented Sanitary Pads

Be aware that scented pads and tampons can cause irritation and affect the PH level down there. So stay away from scented sanitary products.

 

Self-Examinations

Do self-examinations on your vulva with a mirror and sit in a comfortable position. Look for things that seem abnormal like moles, birthmarks, and skin tags. Lumps can be a sign of vaginal cancer but always seek professional help.

 

Sex Toys

Be mindful about which sex toys work for your vagina. Get something that feels comfortable and doesn’t irritate the vagina. Sex toys have different materials so, there’s something for everyone.

 

LOVE

Love the vagina that you have by embracing it, since, they come in different shapes and sizes.

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