Friday 14th of March 2025

Nairobi, Kenya

Tag: Safe Sex

The Silent Libido’s Killer!

Posted on by Resident Love Doctor

By definition, libido is the sexual urge that initiates sexual activity. Libido levels are correlated with sex hormone levels in the body, which peak during adolescence and then decrease as people age. Furthermore, the daily stressors in your life might diminish your libido and render your intimacy with your spouse as dead as a doornail.
Reduced libido in women will result in painful coitus, dry vagina, poor sexual response, inability to become aroused, and lack of sexual desire.

Moreover, research indicates that individuals with adequate sleep typically exhibit elevated libido and a sensual disposition, with their chambers glowing! That gives you an excuse to sleep more now! Drugs have an impact on libido levels as well. Libido reduction has been observed as a side effect of some medications used to treat conditions including depression, high blood pressure, HIV infection, and birth control pills.
Talk to your doctor about any medications you take before having a sexual encounter with your partner, if you’re on any.

Just be sure your libido isn’t being negatively impacted by the adverse effects.

People have traditionally thought of alcohol as a sex stimulant. To what extent is this true? Is it true or just a myth? Contrary to popular belief, there is no evidence that alcohol boosts libido. Alcohol diminishes libido, decreases brain function, and sedates the brain. It kills the sex drive instead of enhancing it.
But why is it that drunk individuals tend to have more sex? Alcohol makes individuals more open-minded and gives them the confidence to engage in activities they normally wouldn’t, like having sex.
It also impairs the conscious mind. As previously said, an alcohol binge will cause your brain to shut down, which will lower your libido.

Thus, the next time you go to the pub hoping to be laid, remember not to push yourself, have a drink or two, and let yourself enjoy the company of the sex!

It’s essential to recognize that libido can be influenced by a combination of physical, psychological, and emotional factors. If someone is experiencing persistent issues with libido, it’s advisable to consult with a healthcare professional or a qualified therapist to address the underlying causes and explore potential solutions.

Open communication with a partner and seeking support from healthcare professionals can play a crucial role in overcoming libido-related challenges.

Content courtesy of LiShe Love & NFH Digital Team

The Silent Libido’s Killer: Unraveling the Major Causes and Effective Treatments

Posted on by Resident Love Doctor

In a world where conversations about sexual health are becoming increasingly open, there remains a silent menace that affects individuals across all walks of life, the silent libido killer. While many are quick to dismiss the importance of a healthy libido, its impact on overall well-being and relationships cannot be understated. In this article, we delve into the major causes behind the silent libido killer and explore effective treatments to revive and rejuvenate one’s sexual vitality.

Understanding the Silent Libido Killer:

The silent libido killer is not a singular entity but rather a confluence of various factors that can sap the energy from one’s sex drive without any overt symptoms. These factors can be physical, psychological, or a combination of both, creating a complex web that can be challenging to unravel.

Major Causes:

1. Hormonal Imbalances:
Hormones play a crucial role in regulating sexual function. Imbalances in hormones, such as testosterone, estrogen, and thyroid hormones, can significantly impact libido. Factors like aging, certain medications, or medical conditions can contribute to hormonal disruptions.

2. Stress and Mental Health:
The mind and body are intimately connected when it comes to sexual health. High levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can act as potent libido suppressors. Addressing these underlying psychological issues is often essential for restoring a healthy sexual drive.

3. Lifestyle Factors:
Sedentary lifestyles, poor dietary choices, a lack of exercise, and excessive alcohol or substance abuse can all contribute to a decline in libido. Adopting a healthier lifestyle can have a profound impact on sexual well-being.

4. Relationship Dynamics:
Intimacy is deeply influenced by the dynamics within a relationship. Communication issues, unresolved conflicts, or emotional distance can lead to a diminished desire for sexual activity. Open communication and relationship counseling may be necessary to address these issues.

Treatment Options:

1. Hormone Therapy:
In cases where hormonal imbalances are identified, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) under the guidance of a healthcare professional can be considered. This can help restore hormonal levels and, subsequently, improve libido.

2. Counseling and Therapy:
Addressing psychological factors through counseling or therapy is crucial. Professionals can help individuals navigate stress, anxiety, or relationship issues, providing tools to improve mental well-being and, consequently, sexual health.

3. Lifestyle Changes:
Adopting a healthier lifestyle can contribute significantly to reviving a dwindling libido. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and reduced alcohol and substance intake can positively impact overall health, including sexual function.

4. Medication:
In certain cases, medications targeting specific issues, such as erectile dysfunction or anxiety, may be prescribed. It’s essential to consult with a healthcare provider to determine the most suitable course of action.

Conclusion:

The silent libido killer is a formidable adversary that requires a multifaceted approach for effective resolution. Identifying and addressing the root causes, whether physical or psychological, is crucial. Combining medical interventions, lifestyle changes, and emotional support can pave the way for a reinvigorated and fulfilling sexual life. Remember, seeking professional advice and being proactive in addressing the silent libido killer can lead to a healthier and more satisfying sexual experience.

Content courtesy of NFH Digital Team 

Sexual Orientation: Best Sex Toys For Couples in 2022

Posted on by Resident Love Doctor

This information does not represent the views or opinions of the editorial staff at Everyday Health and was researched and prepared after thorough testing by an outside reviewing team.

Sex toys can play a crucial role in the sexual health of people of all genders and sexualities, whether they are playing alone or in a relationship. While there are natural ways to improve your sex life, sex toys can be a great addition.

The usage of sex toys is increasing. The percentage of Africans/Americans reporting having used a sex toy rose from 31% in 2016 to 50% in 2020, according to Tenga, a company that makes sex toys, which polled 5,000 people about their sexual preferences. Additionally, between 2018 (18%) and 2020, the proportion of men reporting using sex toys more than doubled (41 percent).

That’s excellent news since, according to Cleveland Clinic, sex (and thus, sex toys) can have a variety of health advantages, including better heart health, a stronger immune system, lower stress, and more.

Lauren Haines, a sexual health nurse practitioner and the founder of Integrative Sexual Wellness in Raleigh, North Carolina, asserts that “sex toys don’t discriminate.” They are appropriate for use in both solo and coupled sex by people of all genders and sexual orientations.

Haines adds that using sex toys can also increase sexual enjoyment for those who have physical limitations or sexual dysfunctions.

Our reviews team has categorized each sex toy in this article based on who it’s for (individuals with vaginas versus individuals with penises), but it’s crucial to remember that the majority of the sex toys on this list are gender-neutral and may be used by people of both genders.

The world of sex toys is broad and diverse. It may take some time and research to decide which is ideal. Several of the top selections on the market were the subject of more than 300 hours of research and deconstruction by our reviews team. The intention is to move you one step closer to discovering the ideal sex toy for you so that you can enjoy the health advantages of increased sexual pleasure.

The Best Sex Toys of 2022

How Can I Discover the Perfect Sex Toy for Me?
The sex educators and nurse practitioners we spoke to advise thoughtful self-questioning and visiting a reputable sex store to ask questions in order to pick the ideal sex toy for you. (Tip: Research the retailer online before going there.)

Pose inquiries
According to Rockville, Maryland-based Andrea Martin, a sexual medicine nurse practitioner, “It’s important to have some idea of what parts of your body give you the most pleasure when trying to find the right sex toy. Is it the prostate, G-spot, clitoris, or frenulum?

In order to determine the kinds of touch you prefer, Rebecca Blanton, a kink and sex educator based in Nevada City, California, advises you to pose questions to yourself while masturbating. How much pressure do you want to feel firm or soft? What’s lacking? “Blannton continues, “you might want to look for toys designed to address those issues if you are living with limited mobility or a condition that limits certain types of movement (for example, carpal tunnel syndrome).

For instance, according to Lauren Haines, a nurse practitioner who specializes in sexual health and is the founder of Integrative Sexual Wellness in Raleigh, North Carolina, “many people love vibrators because they can stimulate blood flow and improve sensation, but others feel like vibrators are too powerful and prefer more gentle options.”

Visit a sex shop
The sexual education website Fraulila’s cofounder and Berlin-based sex educator Nina Nguyen advises, “If you are not hesitant, stroll down to a sex shop and just browse around. You can ask someone to point you in the correct way and provide immediate assistance with any issues you may have. Alternately, thoroughly investigate your options online and get a cheap sex toy to test it out.

Online merchants like Lovehoney and Babeland were suggested by Haines. If you’re unsure of what you’re looking for, these companies “have a huge variety of toys and also offer information and advice for different types of toys,” she says.

The Best Ways to Use Sex Toys
Use as directed, but do some testing

According to Rachel Sommer, PhD, a professional sexologist with a practice in Cheyenne, Wyoming, and the creator of the sex toy review website My Sex Toy Guide, “how you use your sex toy will depend on the individual model and your chosen sensations.” To begin with, read the manufacturer’s handbook before using, experiment with various angles and positions, and even better, cycle through the various settings.

Writer for the sex toy company Lioness and sex educator Kate Delgado is based in Los Angeles. According to her, “it’s always best practice to keep in mind the limits of your body and your toy when using a sex toy.

When a toy is misused, such as by immersing it in water when it’s not meant to be used that way, it may break or cause physical harm.

Many of the sex educators and nurse practitioners our reviews team spoke with recommended using a water-based lubricant with silicone toys rather than a silicone one because the latter can degrade and harm the sex toy.

Clean Up Completely Following Each Use
Being safe while using sex toys requires proper maintenance and cleaning.
When finished using a sex toy, wash it in warm water with antibacterial soap or a sex toy cleanser before rinsing and letting it air dry. To dry the toy, you can also use a lint-free towel or cloth, says Dr. Sommer.

Martin advises against immersing any parts of your toy that are electric or battery-operated in water because doing so could cause the toy to shatter or cause its internal parts to corrode.

Store carefully
Many of the professionals we spoke with advised keeping sex toys in a sterile, cool, and dry location. Haines advises using a clean plastic or rubber storage container, while Sommer suggests using a storage bag or the case the sex toy came in.

Benefits of Using Sex Toys for Health
Using sex toys has a number of positive health effects.

Sexual devices are primarily created to increase sexual well-being, pleasure, recreation, freedom, and diversity, according to a 2021 article in Nature Reviews Urology.

When discussing the advantages of sex toys for mental health, Katie Ziskind, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the proprietor of Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut, said, “Sex toys can bring euphoria, make your brain shoot off mood-boosting chemicals, and bring sexual satisfaction.”

Sex devices are fun for people of all genders, according to Ziskind. “Let go of whatever guilt you might be feeling and accept your sexuality. Self-toy use can be therapeutic and a way to take care of oneself.

At the Fosnight Center for Sexual Health in Asheville, North Carolina, board-certified physician assistant Aleece Fosnight performs sexual health care. She claims that using sex toys also has numerous positive health effects, including “body exploration, reaching orgasm, decreased pelvic pain, increased immune system, improved self-esteem, improved partner connection, better sleep, reduced stress, strengthened pelvic floor muscles, improved cardiovascular health, and helping to work through past traumas.”

To Singles
Toys help people feel more at ease with their own bodies when playing alone, according to Blanton. Many people find it difficult to touch their own genitalia. Either shame that you developed as a child or a certain degree of dysphoria might step in and make manual masturbation uncomfortable. An excellent approach to dealing with this is through toys.

“Sex toys are also incredibly helpful for those who have difficulties getting aroused or orgasming, as they often provide more stimulation than a hand, mouth, penis, or vagina can,” explains Suzannah Weiss, a licensed sex educator, sex/love coach, and sexologist based in Los Angeles.

Delgado notes that “sex toys pose 0% danger of unintended pregnancy” if you’re not ready for children.

To Couples
In a survey conducted by our reviews team of 600 users of sex toys, 23% of respondents said they bought a sex toy to increase their partner’s intimacy and relationship with them, improve their sex life, and break up the routine.

The more pleasure you can experience on your own, the more effectively you can teach a partner to appease you, according to Weiss. “By yourself, sex toys can inspire you to explore new ways of experiencing pleasure (like G-spot pleasure or anal pleasure).

For instance, Weiss cites a study regarding the variations in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women that was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2018. Research demonstrates that women who try novel sex experiences experience orgasms more frequently, according to her.

Delgado continues, “Sex toys can also help make pleasure accessible for those with limitations.

To illustrate this, Blanton presented an excellent example: “Can’t give your spouse a lengthy hand job because you cramp up? It’s a terrific idea to add a wand with a stroker attachment!

How to Use Sex Toys For Singles and Get Started
According to Martin, the variety and number of toys available in stores and online might be completely overwhelming. “Stop letting your analysis paralysis keep you from taking part in the fun. The skilled personnel in many sex shops may help you make your first purchase, she claims.

Martin offers the following starting advice: “Ask a buddy how they got started. If talking about it with someone else makes you uneasy, you can always order a basic vibrator online and stay away from the situation. Whatever you decide, don’t let a disappointing first buy demoralize you.
It does not necessarily follow that you will never discover a toy that suits you.

Another straightforward but crucial piece of advice from Sommer is to first purchase a less expensive model to test out the sensations before investing in a more expensive toy.

Additionally, Blanton advises you to experiment with all of the toy’s available speeds, pressures, and positions. “Great if it does the job. If not, take note of what didn’t work and look for a toy that appears to be designed to fix those issues.

For Couples
Ziskind advises couples to discuss incorporating a new toy into their sex life before the encounter becomes heated so that both partners can express any fears or emotions they may have about attempting something new.

If you’re thinking about utilizing sex toys with your spouse, Sommer advises that you both look into the top models and, if at all possible, go shopping together. With everyone working together, there are higher chances for success, and this way, both sides feel like they belong in the process.

As a sex expert for Dimepiece LA and Peaches and Screams based in London, Barbara Santini advises, “If you are introducing sex toys to your partner, please avoid popping them out during that intense time. If they don’t like surprises, it can turn them off.

To gain their viewpoint and decide whether to buy a toy or not, I advise having a conversation about it beforehand.

If you’re unsure of when to bring up the subject with your spouse, Sommer advises always getting their permission beforehand and discussing the use of the sex toy before bringing it up during the sexy time.

To sum up
Since everyone has different preferences, picking the perfect sex toy for you might be a difficult procedure. Our reviews team spent hours researching and came up with this list of the best 15 sex toys.
We hope this article was helpful to you if you’re looking to add toys to your sex life because having a healthy sexual relationship is crucial to your overall health, whether you use sex toys or not.

Content courtesy of Everyday Health & NFH

Survey Of Female Sexual Pleasure Reveals What Women Really Want

Posted on by Resident Love Doctor

What do women want? You’re going to have to ask them. That’s the conclusion of the largest study to analyze the diversity of female sexual pleasure, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. The researchers aim to break down the ways in which women find pleasure, giving couples insight into how to boost their love life.

Debby Herbenick at Indiana University and her colleagues discovered that women’s preferences in the bedroom vary dramatically, but there are a few things that most tend to enjoy. A word of warning: this is going to get graphic.

The study asked 1,055 heterosexual women in the U.S. to answer a questionnaire that covered everything from sexual attitudes down to their preferred pattern of genital stimulation. The participants ranged from 18 to 94 years old.

Their answers were revealing: More than 36% of women reported needing clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, while less than a fifth reported that intercourse alone was sufficient. An additional 36% said that clitoral stimulation wasn’t necessary, but made for a better orgasm.

The majority of women said that some orgasms feel better than others, whereas 10.8% reckoned they all feel the same.

When asked about their ideal techniques, two-thirds preferred direct clitoral stimulation. Of those that preferred indirect stimulation, the majority preferred touching “through the skin above the hood,” while a smaller number preferred touching “through both lips pushed together (like a sandwich).” Fewer than 10% of women enjoyed stimulation to their mons pubis the squishy area of tissue above the pubic bone. Around 5% preferred it when their partner avoided the clitoris altogether.

When the women were asked about what pattern of stimulation they enjoyed, most indicated that a repeated rhythmic motion was ideal. The least preferred pattern involved a partner putting extreme emphasis on one part of the motion, for instance, more pressure on the left side of the genitals.

That said, the results suggest that it’s hard to go wrong in this department 13 out of the 15 different patterns of stimulation given as options were endorsed by the majority of respondents.

Something else most women agreed on: light to medium pressure on the genitals is best. Only 1 in 10 said they preferred firm pressure during stimulation.

The results show unsurprisingly that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to getting hot under the covers. The women in the study showed a wide variety of preferences as a group, yet on an individual level tended to endorse a narrow range of techniques that they specifically enjoyed. Which all just underscores the value of talking about sex with your partner.

There are a few things that will get you by in the meantime. More than half the women in the study said that spending time to build arousal, having a partner who knows what they like and emotional intimacy contributed to better orgasms. And one last thing: stamina is less important than you might think. Less than one in five women indicated that “sex that lasts a long time” made orgasms feel better.

I’ll be investigating other aspects of your love life in future posts. I’ll be finding out whether the G-spot actually exists, uncovering the science of female ejaculation, discovering why orgasms are good for the brain and how soon we’ll be getting our hands on a male contraceptive pill.

Content courtesy of Forbes

The Underrated Sex Technique Every Couple Needs To Try

Posted on by Resident Love Doctor

Mutual masturbation is when you pleasure yourself as your partner watches or when you both masturbate together. It can be one of the most intimate and exciting types of sex you’ll ever have. But mutual masturbation is seriously underrated. It’s hardly talked about and often dismissed as awkward or uncomfortable.

That makes sense in a way mutual masturbation sees both parties in a super personal, vulnerable state. Are you really ready for that? Andrea Balboni, Certified Love, Sex & Relationship Therapist at Zoe Clews & Associates, says that mutual masturbation is well worth a try.

As you explore this new territory of mutual satisfaction, there’s a chance to learn about what you like best together and separately. She tells  ‘Because many of us have learned to masturbate on our own in private, it can feel incredibly thrilling to be witnessed and at the same time frightening as it feels supremely naughty. ‘Mutual masturbation allows you to free your inner voyeur and exhibitionist as you put on display and watch what most people will never see. ‘It feels exclusive and risky and, did I mention, naughty?

‘Full acceptance by your partner for what you’re sharing can help clear inhibitions and shame, a pleasure killer for many people.

You’ve cleaned the runway for a takeoff into orgasmic bliss.’ It’s not all about the dirty stuff. Andrea notes that mutual masturbation can help to build intimacy – and may even be the most intimate thing you can do with your partner. It can also act as a language when talking about sex is difficult. We do not mind readers, and unless there is communication, how are we to know what our partner truly loves?

‘Mutual masturbation allows for a new form of communication to emerge’, continues Andrea, ‘one full of sound as you allow to emerge any moans or sighs that want to come out naturally. ‘You let your body communicate through movement, where you like to be touched and how. Your partner can watch and learn what pressure works for you and the speed you like to go at. Not to mention the time it takes you to get fully aroused.

‘You can tell your partner how good it feels, what you like, how hot it is, how turned on you are, and when you’re about to climax. ‘And you can change things up by telling them what you want them to do to themselves.’ As your partner learns about you and your pleasure, you may even both find yourselves feeling more confident.

Mutual masturbation can lead you to be a pro in the bedroom when it comes to both your and your partner’s needs and confidence is sexy, right? Andrea adds: ‘Contrary to popular belief, no one can “give” you an orgasm.

Your pleasure is yours and you experience it within your body. ‘So while a partner can support you in realizing your pleasure potential, it’s up to you to create the right conditions for you to allow your orgasmic bliss to blossom like a wild jungle flower within you. ‘And as mutual masturbation removes performance anxiety  a passion killer like no other there is much more space for pleasure to emerge.’ So, now that we’ve explained why mutual, consensual masturbation is a great way to make your sex life stronger, let’s talk about how to get involved.

Content courtesy of Metro 

 

How Mindfulness Can Help You Control Your Orgasms And Make Them Last Longer

Posted on by Resident Love Doctor

Masturbation can be a route to achieving mindfulness. With sex having been banned for much of the last year, the chances are that masturbation is happening more frequently among those that are single or living away from their partner. In the 2020 global self-pleasure report by Tenga, it was found that 80% of Brits masturbate as a form of self-care, while 78% say self-pleasure improves their state of mind.

This is up from 2019, suggesting the pandemic has slightly shifted our needs from masturbation rather than just be about getting off, it’s about actually feeling good. Edging is one way to masturbate that encourages a more mindful approach.

The focus isn’t on reaching a climax quickly which can be off-putting in itself – rather, the focus is to delay orgasm and enjoy an extended period of arousal. It can be a great way for someone to get to know their body better and what turns them on. A spokesperson for the sex toy brand Pulse and Cocktails says: ‘Being mindful when having some alone time is a great way to be present at the moment and to really get to know your body and get in touch with what really turns you on.

‘Self-care is extremely important, and self-pleasure is a fantastic way to blow off steam and forget about any stress or worries. ‘Plus, it has some health benefits too, including improving sleep, releases feel-good hormones, increasing productivity, reducing period pain, and even increasing your libido.’ If you’re new to edging and are unsure of what to do, these are some top tips to make the process a little easier if extended masturbation feels strange at first.

Drop the pressure to orgasm Instead of fixating on having a ground-shaking orgasm, try to spend as much time as possible getting to know your body and what you really respond to. Build yourself up to come, stop, and then rest before starting again. Be romantic for yourself Taking the time to focus on yourself is important for your mind, body, and soul. Instead of having a quickie whenever you get the chance, block out a specific time in your diary for some alone time, and put some effort into your surroundings.

De-clutter anything causing negative energy around you, and perhaps also light some candles or put some music on to get you in the mood. Give porn a miss this time When it comes to being mindful, you want to learn what you truly respond to you rather than just defaulting to porn. Your mind is a powerful tool. Use it to fantasize, think about how to get yourself going, and what truly turns you on. If you aren’t used to doing it this way, that’s okay allow yourself time to feel comfortable and let your mind wander.

Content courtesy of Metro 

How To Look After Your Vagina

Posted on by Sex Guru

A Vagina is a flower that goes by other names that include honeypot, punani, yoni, vulva, cunt, cookie, peach and et cetera.

The vagina is an internal organ that connects the uterus to the outside world. It has two main functions: a pleasure receptor during sex or for delivering babies through natural childbirth. However, when a woman is menstruating, then she bleeds through her vagina till her cycle is over.

So how does one look after their vagina?

The vagina is a self-cleaning organ through vaginal discharge, and, it has a PH level.

 

Healthy Diet

Looking after it starts with eating a healthy diet, filled with fruits, vegetables, water and physical exercise. Exercises include walking,  running and, kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor.

 

Gentle Soap

Use gentle soaps that don’t have any scents to clean around your vagina. Always clean this area whenever you’re showering to keep it clean. During your periods, you might need to wash this area more than once a day. 

 

No Vaginal Douching

The vagina hosts healthy bacteria that are there to protect it. They balance out the vagina’s PH level, to keep the bacteria healthy and dominant than harmful bacteria that might enter the vagina. However, vaginal douche disturbs the PH level and affects the protection offered by the good bacteria in the vagina.

 

Pubic Hair

You don’t have to remove all of your pubic hair since it protects your vagina from extra bacteria. It also acts as a barrier between your skin and your underwear which is helpful, especially during hot and humid weather. You also don’t have to worry about that area becoming itchy.

 

Safe Sex

Practice safe sex and use a condom every time.

 

PAP Smears

Do pelvic exams, PAP Smears and consult your gynaecologist regularly. Get the HPV vaccine, if possible.

 

Use Lubrication

If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness,  use lubrication with your partner to protect your vagina from pain and, tearing during sex. 

 

Cotton Underwear

Wear cotton underwear because your body will breathe easily and absorb any extra moisture. Alternatively, you can go commando and let your vagina breathe.

 

Non-Scented Sanitary Pads

Be aware that scented pads and tampons can cause irritation and affect the PH level down there. So stay away from scented sanitary products.

 

Self-Examinations

Do self-examinations on your vulva with a mirror and sit in a comfortable position. Look for things that seem abnormal like moles, birthmarks, and skin tags. Lumps can be a sign of vaginal cancer but always seek professional help.

 

Sex Toys

Be mindful about which sex toys work for your vagina. Get something that feels comfortable and doesn’t irritate the vagina. Sex toys have different materials so, there’s something for everyone.

 

LOVE

Love the vagina that you have by embracing it, since, they come in different shapes and sizes.

Ad