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Sunday 12th of May 2024

Nairobi, Kenya

Tag: slay queen

A Slay Queen’s Guide To Buying A House

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

A slay queen’s guide to buying a house is a must-have for any true slay queen.  It’s time to move on up and enjoy the sunlight while you lounge on the balcony. It’s a great way to start over.

You’ve been working hard and slaying even harder so now it’s your time to shine in the sun. You need a house that reflects your lifestyle and needs. There’s no more jumping over potholes whenever it pours or keeping your white pieces aside because you live in a dust bowl. Here are a few tips to help you out:

 

 

SPACE

Pay attention to the spatial aspects of the house. It’ll be hard to floss to others about how you’re moving up in life, yet you live in a colour-conflicted shoebox. You can’t have the sort of place where you’re bumping into the walls, yet you’ve barely opened the door. It means that you can’t entertain crowds with elevated taste levels since they might doubt you. A one-bedroomed house is a bit too cosy for your fashion needs unless it lets you live in the right neighbourhood.

If you get a two-bedroom house, then you’ll have a dedicated fashion room. Play your cards right, and it’ll be a backdrop for vlogging and fashion photography. All it needs are two full-length mirrors in this room, so you don’t have to keep twisting your body whenever you want a 360 view of your outfit. A vintage seat surrounded by ring lights next to your makeup box whenever you feel like getting your makeup done. It might take a day or two but isn’t that what boyfriends are for because you just had your nails done.

 

LOOKS MATTER

If the exterior is beautiful, then the interior can’t be that far off. Don’t visit places with ugly pictures online.

Step inside the place and imagine what you’d feel like every time you’d open your eyes in the morning. Will it feel like waking up to a soft dream or an ugly nightmare. The owner decided that they never needed an interior designer. Then, you might be a fountain of fashion insight, but you aren’t a miracle worker. Some places need to be demolished and re-done by someone with an aesthetic eye.

If it’s a furnished apartment, make sure that it’s tasteful and matches your colour palette.

 

NATURAL LIGHT

Being beautiful is a full 24/7/365 hustle, especially for your Instagram followers. Every slayer understands that finding the perfect natural light for selfies makes the difference between a look that others would kill for or a look that kills people.

Look for places with windows that make sense and let in as much natural light as possible. It creates an airy feel that can’t be faked and works well with high ceilings. It’ll feel divine basking in the sun, drinking tea and watching your neighbours chase their minions around the estate. Once in a while, you can enjoy the simple things in life especially when you don’t have the funds for Hulu and Netflix?

 

GREENERY

Take a stroll in the neighbourhood and see if the air feels right to you.

Nobody wants to feel like they’re in a concrete jungle. They want to walk, jog and run in their designer athleisure. It needs to be pet-friendly, especially if you think that you might be a dog person. With upscale areas, you always need to stay alert. You might strike gold any minute. So try out different routes and get to know the place. Success is a guarantee when opportunity meets preparation. So stock on that waterproof makeup and long-lasting lip colours.

 

PARKING SPACE

It doesn’t matter if your dream car only takes space on your screensaver on your iPhone. I mean, didn’t all dreams start from somewhere. Stay ready in case your luck changes for the better. So, a parking space is a must-have item. Nobody has time to run up and down in red-bottoms sweet-talking neighbours into lending them car space whenever their friends come for a bash. I mean, who’ll replace your heels if you wear them out like this.

 

AMENITIES

Choose a house wisely, so you never have to deal with inconsistent amenities. You never have to leave your taps open because you don’t know when water will decide to make an appearance since she’s like a diva. Imagine if water flooded your fashion room and decided your kiss your designer suede handbags and cashmere clothes. Dry cleaning exists, and it works, but what if those water stains never come out. Candlelit dinners will be optional and not a necessity because KPLC won’t tease and taunt you at odd hours.

Exclude areas without in-house gyms because you can’t afford to outgrow your clothes. Trust me you want to sweat in the privacy of an in-house gym, then you can glisten on your outdoor husband-hunting walks. All your designer clothes are snug fit and show off all your curves. If there’s a swimming pool, then that’s even better. It’s the best environment to blur the line between predator and prey. It’s the best time to test out your waterproof makeup. Let people see the real you after you’ve had your fun in the sun.

 

MALLS

Live in an area that’s easy to find. Nobody has the time to count three trees before making a left, looking for a red duka and other nondescript features whenever they’re trying to locate your place. So, one way of fixing this is by looking at houses near fancy malls like Lavington Curve. It also means that you can always rush in whenever your food supplies are running low. Or you can get a takeaway and treat yourself. Just like Shawshank Redemption, either get busy living or, you get busy dying in this life

A Slay Queens’ Guide To Etiquette

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

A Slay Queens’ Guide To Etiquette will help you manoeuvre through awkward situations.

You always need to stay ahead of the curve and be ready for anything.

She might be rough around the edges but she knows that if she plays the part then everything will fall into place. She knows that etiquette is lacking nowadays but she’ll never be a casualty of this. She’d never be caught dead placing a toothpick in her mouth trying to dig out chunks of meat from the abyss.

So we put together, a few tips if it’s your first time dining in that exclusive high-end place.

Always wait for everyone to be seated and for the hostess to serve them before you start eating.

Keep your cellphone away while you eat and make friendly conversation with others. Stay away from topics that always stir people the wrong way like politics and religion unless you’re trying to stand out for a reason.

Always read the invitation. Nobody dresses up in black to an all-white party unless you’re the one throwing the party.

Don’t drink too much because you’re not there to make a scene out of yourself. Also, you never know who’s watching and you don’t want to scare away your prey in case you’re hunting fresh meat.

Take off your sunglasses whenever you’re talking to someone so that you don’t seem rude. How else will they see your flawless contouring and smouldering eyes?

Be punctual. Fashionably late, of course.

Don’t overstay your welcome.

Respect people’s personal space. The same way that you have nightmares about how you used to endure matatus.

Take a thoughtful gift.

Don’t wave your selfie stick everywhere talking about how you’re a vlogger. Have some self-respect for yourself.

Avoid rude jokes about the party, host or food because gossip travels fast. Keep your eye to the ground for details that might help you in the long run.

A Slay Queen’s Guide To Starting A Business

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

A slay queen stays ahead of the business curve by starting a business. Your Barclays bank account is on life support but the better things in life never take a break. Beautiful people weren’t created to suffer long hours chasing after paychecks. Be a boss and a rise up.

The world revolves around money.

You might still be stuck at your day job watching your nail polish dry and wondering if it’s too early to pull a disappearing act. If you had a hustle, then, you’d only have to answer to yourself.

Starting a business is never easy. However, you can start by getting someone else to draw up your business plan if you’re not a business person. You don’t need to feel pressured to do everything, all the time.

Stay away from shylocks or weird messages talking about securing a loan in less than 24 hours. It’s never a guarantee that this will end well for you. People are aware that Brazilian weaves cost over Ksh 200,000. You don’t want bailiffs auctioning off your hair collection.

Stay away from invisible money initiatives, this includes digital currency initiatives unless you know what’s going on. If you don’t understand how a business works then how do you protect yourself from con artists.

Don’t open up a beauty and hair shop that’s identical to all the others lined up along the street. I mean aren’t you unique from everyone else. You need something different to draw customers to your shop.

Don’t place posters advertising your business in public transport, washrooms, walls or electric poles. You’ll look tacky. You can’t be associated with people that call those numbers. You also don’t want random numbers enquiring if you’re a ‘minji minji,’ and wondering where you live exactly. Femicide is real.

Never sell beauty enhancing products that promise to reduce melanin or make women “curvy” in specific areas. Since these products tend to be illegal and harmful. You don’t want to risk ruining your brand. One bag egg will misuse these products, end up with mismatching body parts and attempt to drag your name through the mud. It’s not your problem that they didn’t read the instructions.

Let a kick-ass designer create a cool website for you. This includes a logo that elevates your status and one that doesn’t leave people wondering what you do. It needs reliable contact details because money never sleeps.

If you have a notable social media presence then consider promoting fashion events, clubs or artists on your pages for money. You should be paid for partying and having a good time. Influencers share information about what works for them so read up on them. You can leverage your followers, start a brand and sell fashion-related items like Huddah and makeup.

Your loved one promised you a business, but you still need to check the business registration documents. A lawyer can check them out. You can’t be tossed out during the rainy season into the concrete jungle because he found a new plaything. Houses, land, cars and other expensive gifts need legal documentation listing you.

Paperwork means everything!

Lastly, you might not be good with numbers, so hire someone, that is. So, you can focus on growing your business and your brand until you make money in your sleep.

A Slay Queen’s Guide To Surviving The Lockdown

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

A slay queen thrives under lockdown because there’s no alternative.

I mean, who’ll wear all those awesome clothes in your wardrobe. You’ve been saving those red bottom heels, for a special occasion. All the looks that you’ve put together for all the fun, social, fashionable events, that were indefinitely postponed till things are better.

I mean there’s only one version of you, and you need to put all your haters to shame. Of course, it’ll be hard for you to get the usual essentials in this lockdown.

This lockdown might stretch for a while into the unforeseeable future. So what’s the best way to stay ahead of the curve.

First, don’t let your skin suffer under any circumstances. You might need a dermatologist on speed dial. Of course, you can’t get stressed out and break out in hives like in high school while you were fighting against hormones.

A true slayer knows that a smooth face is the best foundation for makeup. You need to order for all your skincare items to be brought to your doorstep.

Secondly, don’t forget to look after your hair. You might have to smuggle your stylist to do an emergency touch-up or to remove your weave. However, if you’re in the middle of nowhere with strange saloons then you’ll have to invest in low-maintenance styles and perhaps a wig, or two.

After all, you can change your hairstyle whenever you’re bored. Remember to wash and oil your hair as you wait for your favourite spa to reopen.

Indeed, you have to put aside delicate clothes. You know, that you can’t visit the dry cleaners, so why risk staining your cashmere sweater with take-out food from ArtCafe. I mean, this isn’t the time to take fashion risks. You should only wear cotton or other garments that are machine-wash friendly.

The gym is no longer a haven. You can’t wear tight yoga pants and lacy sports bras and snap pictures of yourself looking toned. You know that your clothes are a certain size. Hence, outgrowing your clothes isn’t an option. A slay queen needs to flourish during difficult times. You only have one option: figure out how to work out from home.

Stock up on luxury essentials. I’m talking about those pricey perfumes, that come in pretty shapes, and sizes. Also, foreign chocolates, that can’t be sourced locally. Let’s not forget all your top make-up brands’ products. Nobody knows when the lockdown will end. What if that day is tomorrow? You need to prepared to look your best.

Don’t entertain any house guests at any costs. I mean, isn’t everyone preaching about social distancing.

Don’t waste your time obsessing and flaunting yourself online. You can’t announce all your boss moves and wonder why haters are one step ahead of you. It helps to keep your enemies confused as to your plot your way ahead.

You have to study fashion and make-up trends from around the globe. Indeed, you can dedicate time to piecing together new looks, practising poses and snapping away pictures. Besides, you need to look like a fashionable badass whenever you post anything online.

You need to consider learning the basics of a new foreign language. Besides, you’ll always be travelling, I mean hello Emirates Business Class, I’m coming back to you.

You didn’t bake in the hot sun, wearing stilettos at Huduma Centre, waiting for a new passport to chill at home.

Slay Queen Getting Married

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

The big day is around the corner. 

Haters never believed that this day would come but you always knew. Other upcoming slayers tried stealing him from you but you know how to play the game better. 

It’s time to claim your territory.

I mean you gave his female besties old invitations with the wrong venue. An honest mistake that could have happened to anyone.

However, you’d chosen Safari Park Hotel earlier before you decided that Marula Manor felt more exclusive and like old money. They dropped veiled comments about how he almost chose them but he saw the light when he met you. Frankly, you don’t care since it’s all water under the bridge. 

First of all, a wedding planner is a necessity. I mean why risk having bald hair days, broken nails & possibly an acne breakout. Stay away from the idea that the close family members & friends will create an executive committee to oversee it all.

Of course, your frenemies can’t receive texts expecting them to chip in 5k towards your wedding. I know they can afford it but can you. So hold your head high.

I can’t stand the idea of a wobbly strawberry jelly as a dessert. Or a dense and sugary wedding cake usually found on a shelf instead of light, airy & melting in your mouth with a hint of citrus. Also, let’s not talk about horrendous colour schemes like orange, green & pink. Slay queens don’t hand out fashion heart attacks like that.  

I need to pick my dress and without my mother-in-law dictating anything. Indeed, I mean she already had her moment so now it’s my turn. So two options a) buy it or b) or get it custom-made.

Depending on the time you have, this will help you decide between both. Getting one made is an amazing idea. It’ll be unique and a favourite. With a designer that loves taking risks then they’ll embrace a low-lying back or high thigh slit at the front. Alternatively, you can visit high-end shops, here or abroad.

Only choose photogenic bridesmaids that’ll help boost your aesthetics and social media presence. I know it sounds harsh but pictures turn into memories, instantly. Hire a kick-ass make-up artist to make sure that everyone is on point. Give classy wigs to ladies that are failing in the natural hair movement or have awkward hairstyles.

Give him minimal duties. Let’s’ be honest wedding days are usually about the women.  

Don’t invite exes to the wedding. It doesn’t matter if they dated decades ago. It’ll minimize the risk of drama. You never know when someone might decide to drink themselves silly & make a scene because your fiance promised to love her forever and ever, at some point. 

Ignore your future mother-in-law if she’s giving you a hard time & stick to your guns. Grow a tough skin and do what needs to be done. It’s not easy standing for your what you believe in.

If anyone brings up anything to do with a prenuptial agreement. Kill that vibe. You came to see and conquer.

Don’t forget to approve anything before it’s posted online. I mean, you have a brand to protect.

Slay Queen’s Guide To Travelling Upcountry

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

A slay queen is usually based in Nairobi because why would a slay queen travel upcountry. Nairobi is where all the magic happens. It’s the land of opportunity for people that never miss a beat.

The traditional one will wonder if anything is worth it out there. I don’t like someone holding Arimis milking jelly & huge metallic round bucket & giving me a pointed stare. I wasn’t created to stamp around in black gumboots in a cowshed. Why would anyone want to touch its tits?

Guys in shaggz love drinking milk straight from the source but what about food contamination. Yet, premium milk can be bought at Game or Carrefour.

Definitely, leave all your fancy six-inch heels at home. Where will you wear them? I mean the distance between Farm A & Farm B is 1km. So a wild party and blasting loud music through the night can’t cause a lot of commotion. Your neighbours will sleep through it all. Indeed, the local pub isn’t exactly brimming with potential like XS Millionaires Club. Even the name says it all. Instead, you’ll find men crowded in a circle drinking from a brown, injured pot using slender straws. Not a millionaire insight.

Indeed, village men usually want a ‘humble good girl’ that doesn’t cause drama wherever she goes so tone down the makeup. Don’t scare away your prey before you catch it. Still, waters run deep.

Go upcountry in a car whether you have to borrow it or acquire it through other means. I usually have a hard time keeping the peace when its blazing hot and someone next to me is chewing sugarcane like a donkey.

You can’t open a damn window because some ladies at the front have a small baby & are scared he might catch something. Each bump the matatu hits, makes you pray that your luggage is still in the boot. You packed your clothes in a designer leather suitcase.

At least in a car, I can stop whenever I need a bathroom instead of answering the call of the wild like a heathen. Modern toilets were made for a reason. Imagine squatting in the middle of nowhere hoping that no-one can see you.

Leave delicate clothes & shoes at home. Stuff like chiffon, suede, leather & cashmere. Once it decides to rain upcountry with inches of tough black mud & I accidentally slip because I can’t see through the thick fog. Removing that stain won’t be a walk in the park. Not even if I end up using the dry cleaners.

Babies. Coo & awwh them for a minute or two then give that baby back unless you’re trying to impress someone. I can’t always tell if they’re wearing pampers, clothing diapers or just going au naturale. So you never really know but I don’t need that kind of surprise in my life. Piss isn’t a good scent on me. The mum looking at me with a slightly apologetic face while I try to keep the peace because I’m wearing genuine Levi jeans from the shop.

I never sit too close to the open fire especially if I’m wearing my super wavy Brazillian hairpiece. Not since I noticed that the drinking water boiled in the big black sufuria has a smoky after taste. Creating time to rewash my weave, condition it, combing it out and letting it air dry is tricky especially since I’m usually on the go. Of course, good hair is also an investment so I take care of it like a baby.

Look at my hands. I wasn’t created for hard labour and that includes manual laundry. Casually ignore anyone that brings this idea up because the men will be too busy slaughtering something.

Sorting white and blacks before throwing them in the washing machine sounds better. A girl can dream!

The finer things in life always within my reach because I’m worth it.

 

 

A Slay Queens Guide To Being With A Slay King

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

It’s tough making sure that make-up is on point &  high heels compliment your outfit. The recent unpredictable rain has thrown in a new dimension.

Photo credit: Rugged Motorbike Jeans

 

Girls need to do what’s necessary.

It’s better having one slayer in a relationship that way he can focus his attention & his wallet on you. Money makes the world go around. Manolos Blahniks just don’t fall out of heaven.

So your boyfriend is a slay king.

It means that from time to time that I’ll compete against him about who wore it better but no stress. Men just don’t have the same assets as women. So let him win once in a while let him feel good because you’re the real prize in that relationship. Besides, it’s easier to catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

He might love going for mani-pedis, facials & spa dates so that he always looks good no matter what. I’d go with him if I were you. Sometimes your schedule is open for a spa day but you just can’t get a hold of your BFF to go with you.

If he loves traveling or his job means that he needs to be out of Kenya a lot then push him to take you with him. If not, let him buy you stuff. I mean the stuff that he finds in shops abroad can’t compare with the Toi market even though foreigners also go there. Fashion is about staying ahead of the curve

Make sure he takes you places & you take lots of pictures for Instagram. Since he’ll always dress sharp then I’ll never worry about cropping him out of pictures or being made fun of.  Isn’t it always alluring when beautiful people are photographed together? #BaeGoals #MyBaeIsBetterThanYours. Let your girls turn green with envy.

Slay kings love living lavish lives and spoiling themselves. That money also deserves to get you so never let him keep you on a leash. I mean a budget for a what! He found you at Kempinski so carry on with him like that & always insist on money for Uber. Why let your heels get worn out because you were trying to cross the road from Delta Place, Waiyaki just so you could find transport home?

Indeed, find out if the slay king is funding his lifestyle or other forces at work. It’ll help you estimate the lifeline of that situationship/relationship. If he’s being blessed then let that nigga go when you’re done with the ride because he’ll never really maintain you. However, a criminal mastermind would tap into the real source of power instead.

I mean don’t you want a sports car with your initials on the number plate?

Don’t give up all your beauty secrets to your slay king. Maybe you battled with acne-prone skin but now you look like a fresh newborn baby whilst he’s still fighting mini-volcanoes on his face. Let him suffer because you never know when he’ll drop you & turn petty.

Never agree to share your apartment with him because you aren’t about to waste time playing housewife with him. What if his make-up takes up more space than yours? Or worse, he starts using your Lancôme products.

Tip to the wise never fund a slay king because slay queens aren’t about that lifestyle.

Photo courtesy of Rugged Motorbike Jeans

 

 

 

 

A Slay Queen’s Guide To Fashion

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

I believe that a slay queen never underestimates fashion because you never know whom you’ll bump into. Definitely, when preparation meets opportunity then success is right around the corner. Here are a few pointers on a slay queens’ guide to fashion.

A) High heels. Always have one nice black pair of heels in case money is tight. I love how black heels work well with most items. I can always invest in more quality pairs when money is a non-issue. Furthermore, if you’re still teetering on heels whenever you’re in them then straighten your back, place a book over your head and walk in your room. Believe me when I say that practice makes perfect.

B) Own a romper or two. Rompers are short, cute, flirty plus they’re perfect for events like Koroga. You always need to look your best plus you have long legs so why not show them off. Similarly, never wear a romper if you’re using public transport because not everyone understands style & someone might take it as an invitation to touch.

C) Make-up tutorials. It’s a no-no having your neck looking different from your face. Of course, those are mistakes that we left behind in 2017 & now we’re moving up in life. Internalise your skin tone & knows what works for you. In addition to learning from YouTube make-up tutorials and attend demonstrations that brush up your make-up skills. 

D) Own good make-up. On the same note, buy your make-up. You can afford it. I can’t believe that you’re contemplating sharing make-up brushes with other individuals yet you’re at the forefront of preventing acne breakouts? Invest in makeup that can stand up the elements and lasts all day long. I need to be able to attend events in blistering hot afternoons or grey rainy days worrying about foundation running down my neck.

E) Manicure + Pedicure. I can’t be there trying to reel in a big fish with chipped nail polish because slayers are always on point. How else will he know that I’m high maintenance if not by soft manicured nails? I wasn’t born for washing dishes and house chores especially if I can get a dishwasher and washing machine. Likewise, I need my feet manicured just in case I need to fly to coast out of nowhere. I can’t be walking on sand with cracked heels and long nails. 

F) Fashion. Develop a fashion sense that will always accentuate what you have & go with whatever brand that you’re trying to create. Research. Watch lots of fashion stuff online & you can buy dated, glossy fashion magazines on the streets for tips. Educate your Instagram followers because not slayers aren’t born, they’re moulded. 

A Slay Queens’ Guide To Getting Famous

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

Nairobi is hot, dusty and unforgiving especially dressed in six-inch high heels trying to get your hustle off the ground.

A slay queen can’t become famous overnight so here are a few tips on unleashing your inner slayer.

Weaves speak volumes.

Get a silky, long & voluminous hair weave that moves with your head whenever you turn your neck. It arrived in a golden box. Sitting on your head, it makes you feel like a real house-wife married to a famous artist or athlete. Easily snapping your fingers whenever someone doesn’t feel right or someone is being basic with you.

 

Plastic surgery is no longer a big deal.

Get a little nip & tuck done so younger girls don’t try to steal your crown and glory. If your boobs aren’t perky or your ass isn’t as round and curvy as it used to then find a good plastic surgeon immediately. Change your skin complexion from dark chocolate to a light caramel so that you’re no longer apart of #DarkSkinLivesMatter or #DarkGirlsDoItBetter Twitter conversations. 

Date Someone Famous

Date someone famous and ironically become famous because you’re absorbing all their popularity and using it to your advantage. Just look at your Instagram feed and the ladies trending. Who was spotted where? With whom? & What they wear wearing? Watch yourself glow up because your new bae is your ticket to the finer things in life.

Famous Baby Mama

Become a famous baby mama. I can’t imagine a better dual purpose role. Firstly, you become famous because everyone is curious about you and how you managed to outfox that guy. Secondly, child support can be a second career if he’s out there living large & earning well. Just read up on children’s court & know how to make that man sing for his supper.

Get ‘nice’ pictures taken

Get ‘nice’ pictures taken that’ll help propel your career as a slay queen. ‘Nice’ pictures that can be shared, ogled at, strike controversy and land modelling gigs.

Reality show

Reality show. Imagine a camera following you around all day. Make it juicy & get yourself promoted to the main face of the show. Double that paycheck and use that show to promote your other ventures. You need to be able to slay in your sleep and put money in the bank.

Follow Your Talent

Try singing or acting or modelling. Chase after a career that puts you in the limelight and forces people to reckon with you. If you have a voice then put out a demo cover online & share it widely. If you can act then figure out a way to end up on television alternatively YouTube vloggers can start you off.

Is Being Infamous Such A Bad Thing?

Become infamous. Any publicity is better than no publicity.

Yes, You… It’s Your Year

Posted on by Linda Wairegi

2018 is here unless you’ve been living on an island or you don’t really care…

Nothing is new under the sun.

Whatever you’re thinking of, someone else has already done it.

Life is a hamster wheel.

Each year, people love new mantras on making life better. Some seem sensible (listen more, talk less), others are expected (join the gym), unusual or just wrong (have baby mamas from different races).

Motivational stuff always happens.

You can’t close your eyes and avoid. At times, something really bad happens to you and you tell yourself that you’re done with emotions. That, you’re simply going to stop caring. Till that spirits just bits you again and you get yourself a new mantra.

It’s like a drug and you get high on your own supply even if cute babies don’t get to you emotionally. Smiling harder & overlooking infractions. Trying to be nice and keep the peace. Sometimes, it’s tiring always being the frank & earnest one. Whilst, others are talking about how your BFFs guy will change by faith and she just needs to tough it out. Whereas, you reason that a rat will always remain a rat.

Don’t you love phrases like?

‘You can do it(full of fluidity and vagueness)… It’s your year (technically, you’ve been alive all the other years before)… Love yourself first(Is it really optional?)… Do something, become something (ummh, yeah- sic).

Cash will fall like manna from heaven (don’t we all wish for cash?). Karma never forgets (Are you sure about that). You’ll sleep in a Probox and wake up in a Bugatti (Are you an American hip-hop rapper?) .’

Yes, you… It’s your year

It’s everyone’s year since we’re all here.

However, lots of people will try to bring you down. Certainly, they’ll try to remind you of physics. What goes up, must come down.

Truly, your happiness makes them nauseous & they just don’t know how to handle all that goodness. Notably, they’re melting in your glow because it’s thawing their negativity.

Reiterate your mantra & block the naysayers.

It’s my year & I’m going to live it.

Say it nice and early before life throws curveballs and you wonder whom you crossed.

Spoon yourself a nice scoop of chocolate ice-cream, drizzle some Amarula cream on top and pour mixed nuts on top. Then, sit back in your chair and relax. Of course, you’ll smile as your savour the cold, creamy goodness on your tongue.

Let life be a little happy before it all goes downhill and you wonder out loud.

What did I do wrong today? Alternatively, why can’t it be as good as yesterday? On the other hand, was I really that awful?

Sigh